I start to write something that I feel would be significant to someone and play with my hair. I get angry about the hate and politics going on, and then I just don’t care. Overdoses are at an all-time high, and it doesn’t feel like my problem anymore.

My dad…


Photo Bobbie Kaltmayer

I remember the first time I said that out loud. My voice was shaking, and the chair had just asked if anyone had any birthdays. I was one month sober. Four weeks. I had about ten meetings under my belt, but I had never spoken a word. People were friendly…


The In-between

(Photo courtesy of Unsplash)

When you come to the realization that your child is a drug addict, it completely knocks the wind out of you. You summon resolve and seek resources. You ask questions and find professionals to help. …


Stock Photo

This year I heard a lot of complaining that family get-togethers are becoming a thing of the past. People are making statements like “I remember everyone gathering at grandma’s, but today’s generation doesn’t seem into it,” and other comments of that nature. Of course, always blaming the millennials and the…


Grandma’s Mixer

Photo from Bobbie Kaltmayer

I find out 3 weeks before Thanksgiving that my mom would like me to host it this year. My dad has been sick so this is really no surprise to me. I’ve done it before. I’m not freaking out. Really. I’m not.

On Sunday before Thanksgiving I find…


***Trigger Warning — Suicide***

Photo Credit Mike Frailey

I watched as Bradley Cooper’s character glanced at the camera and pulled down the garage door. I couldn’t breathe. I knew what he was going to do. I knew what he was feeling. I glanced at my husband, who was now sound asleep. …


“Do you need those?” Someone asked as they pointed to my prescription bottle of antidepressants. My face got red, and I was embarrassed that I forgot to put the bottle away.

“I mean, yeah, for a little bit. I’ve just been feeling kind of off, you know. So my doctor…


My Dad

At family gatherings he somehow manages to be the center of attention. Everyone moves to be a little closer. He tells jokes and pokes fun and usually at someone’s expense, but that doesn’t matter. When he included you it made you feel special.

He came from very little…


Image by Eudaimonia Recovery Homes

Today I don’t want to be strong.

Today, I don’t want to tell everyone they’ll be okay. I mean, what if they won’t?

Today, I don’t want to say “you got this.” I mean, what if you don’t?

I don’t feel like saying, hang in there, keep getting up, it’s…


“Why do they even try it?”
“Why don’t they just stop?”
“Why is Narcan free?”
“Harm reduction, really?”
“Medically assisted treatment is not treatment.”
“Not my kid.”

In the 60’s and 70’s if you were to picture in your head a heroin addict, you would see the bum living under…

Bobbie Tipton Kaltmayer

In long term recovery. Trying to make my part of the world a little nicer. Published in Love What Matters and For Every Mom.

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